Living with a Highly Sensitive Dog

Living With a Highly Sensitive Dog: Seeing Behavior Through a New Lens

For a while, I struggled to explain my dog Delight's behavior. She wasn't like other dogs, and the labels often given to explain dog behavior (reactive, cautious, hyper, etc.) just didn't fit.  I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about her.

She wasn’t “bad.”

She wasn’t untrained.

She wasn’t lacking enrichment or exercise.

In fact, Delight is playful, curious, smart, and enjoys learning new things. In many ways, she’s confident and bold. Yet there were moments when she seemed overwhelmed, shut down, startled, or unable to cope with things that other dogs appeared to deal with easily. Her behavior could be unpredictable and intense.

It wasn’t until I began looking at her through the lens of a Highly Sensitive Dog that things got easier.

What Does It Mean to Live with a Highly Sensitive Dog?

I use the term Highly Sensitive Dog not as a diagnosis, but instead as a way to describe Delight's experience.  Sensitivity is a spectrum.  Dogs, like people, can show a low degree of sensitivity, or moderate, or high, and to a variety of stimuli.  Every dog perceives the world and its happenings in their own unique way.

Our dogs receive information from their senses about what's happening in the world around them. The dogs that seem to notice the smallest details, or seem to be pausing to think things through before responding, or those who seem to rev up easily but can't calm down, all may be experiencing the world more intensely than other less sensitive dogs.

We've accepted for a while that humans experience the world in different ways, and it's becoming increasingly clear that dogs do too. 

When I started to look at Delight through the lens of being highly sensitive, I was able to stop asking myself, "Why is she doing this?" I started asking instead, "What might she be experiencing in this moment?"

What This Looks Like for Delight

For Delight, sensitivity often shows up as overwhelm.

Sometimes that overwhelm looks quiet - she may freeze, pause, or seem unresponsive, as if she’s shut down or “checked out.” Other times, it looks like the opposite: she becomes overstimulated, overly excited, mouthy, and unable to settle.

One of the biggest ways this shows up for her is needing more time to process situations. If something in her environment changes - a new place or person, a shift in routine, a strong smell, or unexpected movement - she often needs a moment to stop and take it in before she can move forward again.

To an outside observer, this can look like stubbornness. Like ignoring cues. Like a dog who “knows better” but won’t comply.

But when I slow down and listen, I can see that Delight isn’t being difficult - she’s processing.  She's taking the time she needs to decide if a situation is safe for her to proceed, and if not, how she should respond.

Touch and Handling Sensitivity

Delight is also highly sensitive to touch and handling.

She has participated in extensive cooperative care training, and while that has helped tremendously, her sensitivity hasn’t disappeared completely. Sometimes she seeks out touch, only to reject it once contact is made. Collars, harnesses, coats, and grooming can be challenging despite careful, thoughtful conditioning.

This used to frustrate me.  I was often told she just needed more training or that she would “get used to it” eventually.

But tolerance isn’t the same as comfort, and repeated exposure doesn’t always lead to ease when the nervous system is overwhelmed. Delight needs a different approach to feel safe and needs to be given touch in ways that feel comfortable to her.

When the Environment Feels Like Too Much

Weather conditions are another big sensitivity for Delight.

Wind is particularly hard for her and can feel overwhelming.

A light rain causes her to respond as if each raindrop is painful as it hits her body.

Certain smells in the environment can make her cautious and unsure, changing the way she moves through space.

These are not things I would have expected to be so impactful - but they are very real for her. Once I started to see things from her perspective, I could better support her through them, and everything began to change.

How This Lens Changed How I Show Up for Her

When I stopped seeing Delight’s behavior as something to fix and started seeing it as communication, my role shifted.

Some situations can be avoided altogether, helping her to feel safe and comfortable. When they can’t be avoided, like a vet visit or a rainy day, I intentionally offset those experiences with things that help calm her nervous system and offer positive, grounding experiences.

I’ve learned to slow down. I give her more time when she wakes up before touching or picking her up. I allow pauses on walks. I wait. And when I do, she shows me what she needs - more space, more time, a different approach, or simply the chance to process before continuing.

Instead of reacting in the moment, I listen.

What I’ve Learned Living with a Highly Sensitive Dog

Seeing Delight through a highly sensitive lens has deepened our communication and strengthened her trust in me. I’m less frustrated. I understand her better. And now I appreciate her not for the dog I assumed she was experiencing the world as, but for the individual she truly is.

She loves her life. She’s happy. And sometimes, the world is just a bit too much for her.

Highly sensitive dogs aren’t broken. They aren’t failing.  They're often struggling to cope with the world that we expect them to live in.

They need understanding.

They need support.

And they need caregivers willing to meet them where they are.

Does This Sound Like Your Dog?

If you’re reading this and finding yourself nodding along, thinking “this sounds like my dog” - you’re not alone.

Many dogs are highly sensitive, and their needs are often misunderstood. Looking at your dog through this lens can be the first step toward changing not just behavior, but the relationship you share.

If you’d like to share your story or tell me about your Highly Sensitive Dog, I’d love to hear from you. Sometimes, being truly heard and understood is where real change begins.

Tell Me About Your Highly Sensitive Dog