One question I hear often from people who live with a deaf or blind/deaf dog, is "But, how do I tell him no when he can't hear me?" The assumption is that if the dog could just hear them say no, it would stop doing those behaviors that they don't like.
Some people decide to teach a No hand signal to their deaf dog, but they end up coming to me with the same, but a slightly different, question - How do I sign to him "No" when he's not looking at me?
Telling a Deaf Dog No
The word "No" by itself does not hold any magic power to stop behavior. It is not a magic wand that we can wave to instantly create a world to our liking. Although many dogs do respond to the word "No" it's usually not for the reason we think. Dogs are not born knowing what the word no means. What does the word "No" mean anyway?
Does it have a single, clear meaning? More often than not, we use the word with each other and with our dogs to mean many different things in any number of situations. It's not usually used to mean the exact same thing each time. Consider the following:
"No, don't do that right now. No, don't do that ever. No, I don't want to play with you now. No, how could you? No, don't chew on that. No, don't jump on me in my good clothes. No, get off the furniture. No, don't knock over the children. No, you can't have that. No, there's no more dinner. No, I won't buy you that. No, I don't like that. No walk today."
To a dog, each of those is a very different situation. How is he supposed to know that the word no means all of them and more?
Dogs don't understand what the word "No" means, so your deaf dog really is at no disadvantage there. When hearing dogs respond to the word "No" they are usually responding to the tone of voice and our emotion and body language. They recognize that the person is upset but they really don't know why or what to do to prevent it.
Let's look at this a bit further.
No Causes Stress and Frustration
Think about some of the times when people have told you "No." How do you feel? Deflated? Disappointed? Embarrassed? Wanting to avoid that person? Angry? Frustrated? Confused? Apprehensive?
If this small word can bring about those feelings and confusion, why is it a word we would want to use with our dogs? Do we want our dogs to feel those things? Do we want them to be stressed, frustrated and confused? Those things don't set our dogs up to learn the behavior patterns that we want instead.
Our dogs have natural behaviors, just like humans do. They have a deep need and desire to perform those behaviors, even if sometimes they are things we would rather they didn't do. But dogs have no reason to believe that their natural behaviors would be unwelcome to us. They use those behaviors to interact with their world and to communicate with others around them. To them, each behavior has a meaning and an importance.
When we try to stop the behaviors we don't like from happening, we actually often end up increasing our dog's stress levels. This happens because the dog tries to suppress those behaviors in order to please us, but they don't have another alternative way to express and meet the needs of that original natural behavior.
Let's add the fact that usually when we're trying to stop behaviors we don't like, there is more than one thing happening, so we try to stop many behaviors and may end up telling the dog "No" quite a lot.
Frustration results - not only on the part of the person, but especially on the part of the dog. When dogs are frustrated, they naturally try to use their behaviors to dissipate that stress and confusion. And what behaviors might we see? Running, chewing, jumping, barking, mouthing, ... hmm, more behaviors that will lead to a "No." A not-so-pretty cycle begins to snowball out of control.
Why does this matter?
Dogs that are stressed, frustrated or confused are physiologically unable to focus on learning. That means their brain is responding to stress chemicals that actually get in the way of them learning anything new in that moment.
So those times when we want our dog to stop doing something and do something else - well, it's just not the ideal time to teach them something new if we're trying to tell them "No." The more a dog hears our "No" and stays in this state, the less you'll be able to teach them in that moment.
Changing Our Perspective (What to Do Instead)
Let's look at another perspective. Instead of pointing out to our dogs, in our unclear human way, all the things we don't want them to do, let's focus on teaching our dogs in a kind, clear manner, what we do want them to do instead.
By creating clear expectations of what we do want in each situation, our dogs will feel more relaxed and secure. A relaxed dog is more likely to show behaviors that humans appreciate such as being quiet, lying down, moving calmly, finding their own toys to chew on, etc.
When dogs have a clear understanding of what we expect, they can make choices about their behaviors. Those things our dogs were doing before out of stress, frustration and confusion, will no longer be relevant and will be replaced by the new behaviors of a relaxed and secure dog. Dogs want to do what will bring them pleasant feelings, and feeling relaxed and secure feels better than feeling frustrated and stressed.
This will cut down on the behaviors that we don't like, so we will feel less urgency to say "No" to our dogs. And, when we see more of the behaviors that we do like, we will have more opportunities to let our dogs know how much we appreciate those behaviors.
Having a happy, relaxed human who reinforces their choices is a pleasant feeling that our dog will try to attain. They will choose those calm and relaxed behaviors more and more to gain their reinforcement and our appreciation. This creates a much prettier cycle! A win-win for us and our dogs!
There will certainly be times when we need to stop our dogs from doing behaviors that are unsafe or inappropriate. But yelling "No" will very seldom solve the problem at hand and may make things worse.
It's much quicker to go to the dog and interrupt the behavior than to stand there helplessly yelling "No" over and over again. So, to circle back to our original question, "But how do I tell my deaf dog no?" here is how to stop or interrupt behavior:
Gently interrupt the behavior that is happening. If your deaf dog is not looking in your direction, this means going to them to stop the behavior from happening.
Redirect your dog to do something more appropriate or to a different area where the behavior is not likely to continue. For instance, a dog that is jumping on the counter can be interrupted and moved out of the kitchen to another area of the house and given something more appropriate to do.
Then reinforce the new more appropriate behavior. That means that as your dog is doing the behavior you've asked for or helped them to do instead, show them you are pleased. This might be a chew toy, petting, a good dog signal, or even a treat. Behavior that is reinforced will continue to happen.
If the interrupted behavior (jumping on counters) is likely to happen again, decide how you will prevent it, and/or what you would like your dog to do instead in that situation. Then take the time to teach your dog that new behavior that you would like to see instead.
This will make your life so much easier in the long run, and both you and your dog will be much happier.
For support with changing unwanted behaviors into those calm, relaxed behaviors that you would love to see, let's talk. I'm here to help. I want you and your deaf dog to live a happy, relaxed, and harmonious life together.
Other resources that will help your deaf dog to thrive!
And, what is my answer for those people who want to know how to tell their deaf dog "No?" Tell your dog "Yes" instead by teaching the behaviors you DO want to see!
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